Alternatively
by insertappropropriatenamehere
Summary: Alternatively, they loved and hated each other. Suzaku and Lelouch confront each other on Kaminejima for the last time. Takes place Stage 25 R1 . Suzalulu, lulusuza, rape, mindrape, written for cg kink meme on lj.


AN: AR From the cgkinkmeme on livejournal. Takes place at the end of Stage 25 (R1).

Disclaimer: I do not own.

Prompt: SuzaLulu + LuluSuza. Switching, fight for sexual dominance (hopefully that counts as a kink?)

XxXxX

Alternatively

XxXxX

"You killed him!" Suzaku screamed, lunging at the unmasked Zero, clawing at the other's throat. "Just like you killed Euphie! And Clovis! And- and-" Behind him, he could hear that other girl, Kallen, run off.

"I'm going to kill you! I hate you! I hate you! Give Lelouch back!"

"I _am_ Lelouch!" Zero screamed, trying to throw the heavier and much stronger pilot off. "Why can't you get past your prejudices and figure that out!"

"You aren't Lelouch," Suzaku whispered. "You can't be! The Lelouch I knew wouldn't hurt people, manipulate them like that!"

He almost missed the look of cunning that shot across Zero's face. "I can prove that," Zero whispered into his ear, running his right hand across Suzaku's chest and his left over Suzaku's lower back. There was a soft click as Zero took the gun and threw it away. Suzaku didn't mind; he was stronger than this monster that had taken over Lelouch, anyways. "Don't you remember how we used to do this?"

Suzaku pushed Zero away, revulsion and longing rising in him in an unwanted wave. "_Lelouch_ wouldn't act like such a slut!"

"Why don't you get that I _am_ Lelouch! Lelouch is Zero!" Zero screamed in frustration. "We are the same!"

"Stop lying!" Suzaku roared, backhanding the terrorist. "You aren't! You're just a monster who took over Lelouch and killed him!"

Zero snickered. "People change, Suzaku. Besides, if I weren't Lelouch, would you be like that?"

Suzaku looked down and realized that the terrorist's touches had done what he had never wanted them to do. He looked back at Zero. "Then prove to me you're Lelouch," he demanded. "Prove to me that you're that same fiery, gentle person."

Zero began taking off his costume until he stood in the sleeveless turtleneck and black shorts that Lelouch had often worn. Suzaku couldn't help but get a thrill at how the other was equally aroused.

"Would Zero the terrorist do this?" Zero whispered, kneeling in front of Suzaku and unzipping his flight uniform.

Suzaku raised his arm to strike the other, then dropped to the ground unexpectedly as his legs turned to jelly. He looked at the other man as warm heat engulfed his member.

"Bitch," he snarled without real conviction as Zero sucked gently, massaging the head gently with his tongue. "You…"

He wouldn't let this terrorist win. He couldn't. He shoved Zero's head down, then pulled his boxers down to entangle his legs; the terrorist wouldn't be going anywhere.

"I thought you were my friend," he snarled as he grabbed the other teen's erection. He yanked harshly on it, then flinched as the other's moan of pain grated deliciously against his cock. The soft pressure of teeth against sensitive, swollen flesh warned him of what could happen if Zero became unhappy.

Suzaku forcefully ripped himself away from his friend, ignoring the shock and sting of cold air. He was aroused, conflicted, and unsure of himself. He hated this.

"Two can play at this, Zero," he snapped as he physically dragged the other's thin form over, ignoring Zero's thrashing. Experimentally, he fingered the small, puckered hole. "I want this to hurt, I want you to hurt, I want you to regret doing this and corrupting Lelouch."

There was soft, cold snicker. "I told you, I am Lelouch. And you're the only one I'd ever consider doing this with. Ever. Remember that, Suzaku, when you look back on this moment."

"Shut up," Suzaku grunted as he shoved his length inside Zero, wrapping his hands around the terrorist's throat and squeezing at the same time. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!"

Zero's choked cry of pain echoed around the chamber walls, surprisingly loud. Suzaku shifted back, then thrust again and again, feeling warm, sticky liquid pooling inside the other. Blood dripped down both their legs from where they were joined together in pain and hate.

Suzaku was so caught up in punishing Zero that he almost didn't notice the needle sliding into his femoral artery.

XxXxX

He did, however, notice as and odd numbness spread from his thigh to the rest of his body. His senses heightened as his muscles went slack, and from his odd sense of hearing he could hear Zero's whispering in his ear.

"My turn."

Suzaku could do nothing as he was flipped over onto his stomach, his now limp penis grinding harshly into the dirt and stone of the floor of the ruins.

"I got this from Sayoko. Did you know, it causes paralysis but also enhances the senses at the same time? It's traditionally used for torture."

Fire shot up his back as something large, blunt, and unyielding forced its way up his anus.

"This too, is a part of it."

It _hurt_. Kami-sama, it hurt. It felt like he was being stabbed, disemboweled, and burned at the same time.

There was nothing he could do about it, and he had brought it on himself. That was the worst part of it, that he had taken this final step in killing Lelouch and creating Zero. That hurt more than the physical pain of rape, the mental pain of betrayal, and the psychological pain of knowing that the person doing this had been his best friend. No, the worst pain was the gut knowledge that everything was his fault. He had started it.

Something dripped down his leg, warm, wet, and viscous, and he wondered what it was. An odd, coppery tang filled the air and the world began to fade as his mind was overwhelmed by the many sensations he was feeling. Not that he cared; most of those sensations were ones he never wanted to feel again.

The last thing he saw was a familiar face, set in an unfamiliar cold expression. Icy, dispassionate eyes stared back him, one a beautiful familiar royal purple and the other red, a glowing white Geass symbol floating emptily in the corrupted iris.

"Good bye, Suzaku."

'_It wasn't supposed to be like this!'_ Suzaku screamed in his mind, unable to bring his emotions to bear, trapped in his own body. He stared emptily into Zero's eyes as the other picked up the broken pieces of his mask and walked off._'Not for you, not for me, not like this! It was supposed to be special!_'

"I win."

Despair.

XxXxX

C.C. watched from the ruins of the Gawain as Lelouch- no, Zero now, she noted- walked out of the entrance to the ruins.

"Let's go," Zero said.

"What happened to Lelouch?"

"He died, and Zero took his place."

"Come on, Kallen and the Black Knights are waiting."

The Lancelot took off, flying away from its intended pilot, leaving Suzaku with truly nothing left, leaving behind the remnants of Lelouch Lamperouge vi Britannia.

XxXxX

"You messed up big time, Kururugi-san," Lloyd chirped, an uncharacteristic coldness in his tone. "We lost the Lancelot."

Suzaku opened his eyes to blinding white artificial lighting and an odd sense of disorientation. He was lying in a bed in a medical ward, covered in bandages and little else.

"We lost the Lancelot?" he croaked. "How?"

"Zero stole it, of course," Lloyd said seriously (for once). "So for now, you are off duty and confined to house arrest. That would be this warehouse. Also, Second Prince Schneizel and the Emperor want to know the details of your… confrontation… with Zero."

"Are they coming in person?" Suzaku whispered, dread coiling in his stomach, mirrored by a similar pain shooting through his lower abdomen. His failure could hardly be overlooked, especially after he had, for all intents and purposes, attacked his superior and directly gone against his orders. "And what happened-"

Cecile shook her head. "After Zero's return, the Black Knights rallied and won their little Black Rebellion. They're orchestrating the prisoner exchange right now. The details are coming with Schneizel, but the Emperor wants an audience with you."

The Emperor was involved. That was never a good thing. After a bit more fussing, Lloyd and Cecile left him.

The door opened; Suzaku twisted his head, waking from an uneasy dream of Zero killing Lelouch and wearing his skin.

V.V. walked in. "Do you think you can still make a difference?" he asked lightly.

"You."

"Now you know the power of Geass. And the only way to stop a Geass is with another one," the immortal said, dragging over a chair and sitting on it. "And those with the Geass are the ones who will change the world, like Zero has. Like you can; you can achieve everything you wanted to but couldn't, with a Geass. So, Kururugi Suzaku, will you make a contract with me and retrieve Zero?"

Suzaku stared at the immortal in horror- how could he even consider taking up the same power that had cause Euphie's death and Lelouch's corruption?- and then was running away, away from his past, away from his failures, away from everything.

He never stopped to look back.


End file.
